Do your best, leave the rest

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"Words from the Master"
I am not saying to deliberately make mistakes. That is foolishness again. I am only saying, do things to the best of your intelligence and enthusiasm but without worrying about whether it might be a mistake. The moment you are worried that it might be a mistake, you are worried about your ego getting hurt.
When you are not so concerned about your ego getting hurt, you will have the courage to take any jump. All your so-called worry is actually about your ego getting hurt. When you are free from it, you will act with more freedom and courage. You will be more willing to explore.
A small story:
In a clubhouse, one man had finished his round of playing cards and was leaving. He went to the coat stand and was putting on his coat, when suddenly a meek voice spoke behind him, “Sir, but are you Mr. Philippe?”The man turned around and replied, “No, I am not.” The voice said, “Thank God. I am Philippe and that coat is mine.”
(Laughter!)
We are so afraid that we might make a mistake and hurt ourselves, our ego. So we work with such cordiality and seriousness thinking that we are humble and what not. These are nothing but passive forms of ego. You are so terrified of your ego getting hurt and so you behave in these ways. Drop all your guard of your ego and move about freely.

Sorry Abi

I am showing my anger and frustration on you. I am behaving as if you are the cause of all my problems. I promise today that this SHALL not be repeated henceforth. Yes you tease me now-a-days that I say I will not scold you but never can adhere to it. But this time I DO NOT WANT to break my promise and thats why this public post.

I hope when you grow up you don't remember your mother as same insanely person unable to control her emotions.

Love u loads darling,

your mom

My mom knows everything

 She asks me so many questions ranging from microbiology (how bacterias grow inside our body) to metaphysics (how brahma creates us) and if I tell her sometimes ..

I don't know, Abi.

No Amma you know everything.

How do I know everything, Abi ?

Because you are a MOM

:)

Degree of communication between K & S is directly proportional to degree of communication between K & S's parents and inversely proportional to degree of communication between K & K's parents

We speak very less and the communication is purely transaction oriented.  

Shall I pack lunch? When will you come back? I am going to office, Bye.  

My daughter is my Guru

My daughter shares everything (from her toys to her cycle to our laptop) but her friends do not and that bothers me. When I ask her why, she says she is happy when her friends are around and if she has to share everything so that she can get that happiness it is ok.... 

She is correct, she is more humane than materialistic...

I am not sure whether this is ok in today's competitive world, I know she is a step ahead in the spiritual world...

Introspection

I have not changed a bit in the past 5 years and that was a SHOCK. A major blow... 

I had thought I had grown to be more matured, less clingy, less possessive but the reality is a big NO.

How is it possible to be magnimous to outsiders than to family members?

Why am I less tolerant towards my family?

When I can adjust to my colleagues in office, why do I expect my family to adjust to me? 

How can I think of doing social service when I have problems serving my sick mother-in-law?

Is these all because I look from outside with others and from inside with my family?

Should I start looking from outside with my family too? Would it give more peace to everyone?

Oh God... Why have you put so much of conclifts in me? Is it to help me progress through? Is this an exam that You want me to pass?

Love everyone is what Sai says. When I cannot even love my daughter, husband, parents and parents-in-law unconditionally all the time. How am I to love the universe?

Yesterday you were tossing and turning and were unable to sleep. I watched for some time, then I hugged you hard and gave you a kiss and you immediately showered me with so many kisses and soon went to sleep.
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"you" refers to Abi not hubby ;)

Happy

Today I am very happy for no reason. Everything is the same at home and at office, but I am very happy. :) :)

Just a rant

My inlaws are coming to live with us from May and I am getting more stressed with each passing day. Yes my husband did ask me whether I am ok with it and God only knows why I said an yes and there has been no going back after that. I have told all my apprehensions to my husband since then but he somehow is very stubborn that his parents no longer should live alone. He either fails to understand my feelings or understands and keeps quiet or mumbles a "please adjust they are after all my parents and very old".
My daughter is the happiest as she likes the concept of a joint family. As she is the only child, she always loves to have a lot of people around, just like Sneha in the movie Pirivom Santhipom. Being born as the sixth child, I am exactly the opposite.
Also the first two years of marriage when we lived with my inlaws, I don't have any pleasant memories. I always felt like coming to a place where I was not welcome. Though outwardly my inlaws speak so nicely, somehow I always felt/still feel its just superficial. When we lived together, I was never consulted on any decisions that would affect all of us. I somehow swallowed all that because it was their home that I was entering into but now after having run my own home my own way, I simply am not in any mood to give up. I know its plain ego but somehow I am not able to imagine someone else deciding or doing things in their own way in the mask of offloading my work load.